I’m not entirely sure where I’m going to go with this particular post, I know it’s been awhile since I wrote on here so I want to try and incorporate some of my recent adventures into the message I want to put out there. That message is, in a nutshell, this: NEVER take the little things for granted.
I have struggled for a long time with relating to other men . My age, older, younger, black, white, whatever–I just really don’t connect with guys normally. Or at least with how I perceive guys to be. Conversations with other men are a struggle for me; even being around them for an extended period of time freaks me out. So when I actually make a connection with a guy, or even just hold a normal conversation with them without panicking, it’s pretty euphoric for me. Actually, poor choice of words: it’s healing. Healing for all the countless times I’ve been looked down on, ignored, or outright teased by other men.
That’s literally all it takes.
So when a guy goes a step further, and professes himself my brother, both in words and actions, it’s somewhere between terrifying and utterly exhilarating.
I could cite plenty of examples from my big or any number of my household brothers or others I have been blessed to meet the past few years, but I’d like to focus right now on my Totus Tuus teammate from this summer.
Now I’ll admit, I was incredibly hesitant at first to open up in any way to this guy. I mean this guy is seriously legit. I’d try to conjure an image of him with my words, but I’ll leave that to better writers. Suffice it to say that this young man is a man’s man, and truly a man of God. Twice as intriguing, twice as intimidating.
So when he finally took time one week and went out of his way to get me to open up, to truly get to know me, I was flabbergasted. What could he want to do with me? And what the heck was I supposed to say? How was I, who took months to let down my walls even to the best of my friends, supposed to open up to him in a matter of weeks? And yet he pushed me in my willing hesitancy, not rudely but with care and compassion. He took little moments to spend with me, pushed me to become better at the work we were doing, moved me to reverence and prayer.
It all probably seems like a pretty small endeavor from his point of view, but to me, it meant so much.
It meant that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t such a horrendously terrible person to be around after all.
So I invite you, brothers and sisters, don’t overlook the little things. The tiniest of gestures of love, respect, kindness, generosity, patience–they can change the course of a person’s life. And let yourself revel in the little acts of virtue that are done towards you or those around you. These “little things” are the seeds of rejoicing, because they are planted by children of the One Who is the source of all joy, all healing, all peace.
God bless you all as this semester begins; may you find yourself ever rejoicing in the little acts of love from God and His servants.
I heard it said once that if you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans. And really, how pretentious are we, to think that we could know what’s best for us better than the God who holds Creation in His hands and knows us better than we know ourselves?
We are not our own. And that’s OK, because we really don’t do such a good job trying to do this thing called life on our own.
It’s amazing really, when you practice a virtue you really don’t want to, and you see no reward from it, and the one thing that makes you want to do it all again is seeing a man hanging on a cross and imagine Him smiling in the midst of His pain.
Ever stop to think about how precious we are in the sight of God, that He has a plan for each and every one of us that leads to us being as happy as we can possibly be, and how far He’s willing to go to get us there? And how cool is it to round a corner that you thought would lead to your dreams, watch them fall apart, and still have a reason to hope and be joyful?
Forgive a man head-over-heels in love; it’s been awhile since I wrote here, and Christ had done so much. And the remarkable thing is that most of the work has been through me losing things rather than gaining them, and instead of feeling jipped and poor, I feel so free that those things don’t matter anymore to me.
Truly, God provides, and where His Holt Spirit is, there is freedom. To be more fully Totus Tuus, Mary, is so painfully hard at first, but so freeing once the bond is broken with those things that really just don’t matter in light of the unfathomable love and mercy of God.